Aging

We all age.  Some gracefully, some fighting against the eroding process, and some speeding up the process through life style choices.

My parents have set a fine example for me, making clear choices and detailing those choices to their family.  I applaud their look at life.  They have now chosen to move into a place which will allow them to ease into assisted living as they need it.

My mom worked as a psych nurse, and dealt with many geriatric patients during her years of work, and that gave her a ground level perspective on that part of life that many in her generation missed.  She witnessed first hand many battles between children and their parents as the parents fought against moving into assisted care, and how many times that care would have made so many lives easier.  I am sure that long ago she decided that she would not fight against the tide that way, and somewhere along the way dad joined her sensible approach to acknowledging the impositions and limitations that time makes.

My maternal Grandmother fought against going into care, and because mom had seen the way things could drag on, was quick to act once it was inevitable. Grandma's struggle I believe re-affirmed to mom that that was not the way to go, and many of her own friends have stated that moving into assisted care was something that freed up a lot of their energies and time as well as taking a lot of stress off their children/heirs.

The reason they chose now, is the one that leaves so many of the world helpless in the march of time.  My father is experiencing degrading in his short term memory, and while he is doing all he can to fight against it, and he is still doing okay, the day will come when he will need more help than mom can provide, and they have chosen the path that I hope will prove best for them, and so easy for me and my brothers.

The last two summers I have spent a fair amount of time with my parents and have been very glad about the experience.  I watched from the sidelines as they got on with their day to day existence and how all of their friends moved in the circles around them.  They have built a life that connected them to friends of all ages and have shown me how to effortlessly give love and care into a community of friends and family.

Traveling into other countries can give you a glimpse on how other cultures deal with aging, but it is something I have so far turned a blind eye to.

I am sure that Guatemala is missing the infrastructure to provide the level of care that mom and dad will get, but that does not mean that the elderly are not loved or cared for, merely that the level of assistance available is sadly lacking here.

The third world puts a great deal of effort into giving their children all the help and education they can afford, and that is a grand effort done not just by parents, but by local and federal governments.  I have avoided looking at how the elderly are supported here, and it is perhaps a failing on my part, but it is also a reluctance to look at how I am going to fare when my time to need help comes.

It is a ways off, and I plan on being a wandering soul for many years yet, but somewhere in the back of my mind I know that aging will catch up with me too.  I have no idea where I will end laying down tracks, but I do hope that I can follow my parents trail and do it with grace and dignity.